Stage Fright

Why is it that every time I start a blog I freeze up when it’s time to make the first post?

I ruminate over all the witty words I’ll type and the personal insight I’ll achieve. I set up a new email, find the perfect title and tagline, and mentally write posts in my head for a few days that sound so good in there! Then I set up the blog and….nothing. Stage fright.

In the past, I’ve used blogger, livejournal, squarespace, and wordpress multiple times. I start off slow, gain momentum, find a happy hobby, then lose interest – or worse – people start reading and commenting. Stage fright.

I’ve never been one to share innermost thoughts with complete strangers or even close acquaintances. Sure, I open up sometimes to my sister or husband, but mostly I keep it in and overanalyze myself to the point of exhaustion. I suppose I could go back to keeping written journals as I did while growing up. Even then, I was terrified my older brother would find them and pass them around school so I kept it fairly impersonal. Stage fright.

Admittedly, I’m also a hor for technology. I’ve become so accustomed to being able to write, edit, rearrange, and delete words quickly that I’m not sure I could go backwards at this point. So I made another blog. And this time it’s for a purpose and to perpetuate action from me. I need to better myself and I need to document my progress. I need to become the Woman I Want To Be (more on that later). If people happen to read and comment, awesome. If not, that’s ok too. But I will not lose interest and will keep going.

Stage fright, no more.



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